He Calls Me Beauty

Part 2

If you come here for all things political, this is probably where you should stop reading.

It is Valentine’s Day after all…

So I thought I’d take the opportunity to share and maybe even encourage some of you to reflect on your own marriage, to love your spouse more deeply—with more Christlike devotion and sacrificial love—and maybe even chase hard after the Red Hot Monogamy that can only happen in Christ centered marriages.

My husband and I had a rough start.

The night before our wedding (after the rehearsal dinner), his mother and his brother tried to talk him out of going through with the marriage.

He made the mistake of sharing the details with me not quite 24 hours before the ceremony.

I had been deemed “used goods” and not worthy of him.

Things actually went downhill from there.

The next day, the family tension was palpable, the migraine intense, and the turmoil in my heart so overwhelming—I honestly don’t remember feeling much except that I wanted to run away and I couldn’t.

I loved him.

The lesser details…

Our photographer didn’t show up (we don’t have a single professional photo to this day), the cake wasn’t baked, we had to leave the reception early because my migraine led to violent vomiting, and the wedding night…

Well, you can guess…

We thought maybe the Honeymoon would go a long way toward healing the mess that had very quickly begun to define “us”…

But the next day, a November hurricane closed the bridge to our destination— Sanibel Island, Florida—and our Honeymoon was officially canceled.

We always said we would take one.

We just never did.

Single income.

Babies.

Death.

Illness and family trauma and endless financial crises.

It just never got…easier…

So it never happened.

We were both college students back then.

We decided we would just spend what would have been our honeymoon in our brand new apartment that I had spent the previous month meticulously decorating and setting up for our new life together before our relentless class and work schedules resumed the following week. (We married mid-semester his senior year and my junior year at the University of Central Florida.)

Though our mood matched the storm clouds that hovered with the hurricane, we decided to look on the bright side—a “Staycation” might be even better than a Honeymoon—plus we got a full refund, and we were broke college students so maybe this was even something of a gift.

I will never forget that day he opened the door to our apartment (he even carried me across the threshold old school style)…

We walked in to discover that his brothers (as a “joke”) had turned over nearly every piece of furniture in the entire place…

Thrown everything on the floor that could be thrown…

And filled every inch of the apartment—every drawer, vent, couch, sink, toilet, tub…

With packing peanuts…

It was literally shock and awe.

I would rather have been stabbed with a knife by complete strangers.

This was my welcome to his family.

I cried myself to sleep every day for weeks?

Months?

I wanted an annulment.

I never told him that until very recently.

I blamed him for what they did.

I blamed him for not protecting me.

Rough start.

I don’t share this story for pity (though I do think maybe we could win some kind of contest for world’s worst wedding/honeymoon ever?)

I share because we are a Redemption Story with Jesus at the heart of it.

Little by little, we figured out that marriage isn’t about the wedding or the honeymoon or the money or the extended family.

We figured out that it is a cord of three strands and the Cord that holds the other two together is so strong—it cannot break even when the other two are hanging by the last thread.

We figured out that God’s gift of marriage is the second greatest gift to mankind next to the gift of His Son.

It is the tangible picture of the relationship between Jesus and the church—the Bridegroom and the Bride.

And it must be protected, nurtured, fought for, and cultivated.

I wrote “He Calls Me Beauty” a few months before we celebrated our 30th anniversary.

If you read it, you might find it difficult to believe how it all started out for us on that ugly day in November of 1994.

But that is the thing about Jesus.

He is in the business of making the ugly—beautiful.

My husband recently asked me to remarry him.

I said yes.

Actually, I said YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

I am more excited than I was the first time.

This time I know how the story ends.

God wins.

Go love on your spouse.

If you don’t know where to start, read “The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex” out loud together.

Spoiler Alert: It isn’t so much about sex as it is God’s design for marriage and intimacy—and Red Hot Monogamy…

(Can I get an Amen?)

If only we could all wrap our arms around God’s BEST for us—we would love Him and each other with unabandoned passion.

Give it a try.

I promise you won’t be disappointed…

T

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