He Calls Me Beauty

Reflections on Life, Love, and Marriage

Thirty years ago, I walked down the aisle to a guy I had dated just a few weeks before agreeing to spend my life with him.

Only the passing years would tell the story of whether this was an act of insanity or supernatural provision for an otherwise impulsive and immature girl of twenty-one.

I don’t know exactly why I agreed to let him place the ring on my finger so quickly except that he was not like any other guy I had ever met.

And I had met plenty.

But Shane was different.

He gave it all away.

I watched—studied—him closely during that first year between the ring and the vows.

I may have even been looking for an out.

But the more I studied him, the more he proved to be exactly what I had first observed…a man after God’s heart…and mine.

He served people relentlessly.

He served me relentlessly.

I had honestly never seen anything quite like it.

He fed the homeless when no one was looking.

He showed dignity and kindness to the elderly in moments he believed were private.

He gave away money he didn’t have.

He adored children and never once failed to interact with them—especially babies.

In fact, as a twenty something, he had a comfort level with children that even I did not at the time.

I saw Jesus in those interactions.

They moved me deeply.

One day shortly after we were married, we found ourselves on the streets of Orlando doing homeless outreach.

That day, when he thought no one was looking, he took off his shoes (they  happened to be one of the only valuable things he owned at the time) and gave them to a homeless man.

Right there on the street.

No back up plan.

I’m pretty sure that was the day that all the self doubt went away and the regret I had felt over my own impulsive covenant vanished.

It has been (almost) 30 years since we said our vows.

In the last three decades, Shane has been my priest, prophet, protector, and provider.

He has often worked three jobs so I could stay home and raise our children.

He never asked me to bear Adam’s curse as he knew he could not bear mine.

We have raised 3 children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

I have experienced the joy of having had those children rise up and call me blessed among women.

They walk with God.

It was all I—we…ever wanted.

Everything I have…I have because of (God’s gift of) Shane.

He prays for me.

He protects me.

He provides for me.

He clothes me.

He is my Kinsman Redeemer in so many ways.

I wish that every woman could know what it is like to be loved the way I am loved…not perfectly, but completely.

He calls me Beauty.

A well loved woman is a well-watered vine.

If it is true that there is beauty in me, it is largely because I have been well loved.

I think there is something about the 30 year mark that causes us to reflect.

We likely have more years behind us than ahead.

While I hope that is not the case, I can honestly say…

I have seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

I would do it all again in a heartbeat only this time without a tinge of doubt and maybe even a year sooner.

I am eternally grateful for God’s gift of marriage and for Shane—and for a life overflowing.

My cup runneth over.